Martha Stewart On Wedding Etiquette: Coordinating Bridesmaids, Showers, Seating, After Parties
September 15, 2010
Q: We'd like our guests to keep on celebrating after the reception venue closes. How can we invite them to a post-reception gathering without implying that we'll be hosting — and picking up everyone's tab?
A: Because the after-party is an event separate from the wedding, you should treat it as such, says party planner Gail Johnson in Atlanta. So don't include information about it in your invitation. Not only might this imply that you're hosting the gathering, but it may make your guests feel obligated to attend.
For many of Johnson's clients, the post-fete celebrations are a bit of an afterthought. As the reception draws to a close, they (and their wedding attendants) verbally recruit the livelier guests to continue the revelry, saying, "We're going to a club after the wedding." The informality of this last-minute notification gets the message to those who might want to join and allows those who aren't interested to decline politely without much guilt. As for who's paying for what, Johnson says most of the guests who accept your invitation will expect to buy their own drinks or pay their own cover charge, but if the question comes up, it's best to be direct about it.
You can certainly alert people to your plans before the wedding, of course; simply mention your intentions to anyone you think might be interested in attending the postnuptial festivities however you'd like — by e-mail, by phone or in person — and word will always spread.
A: Because the after-party is an event separate from the wedding, you should treat it as such, says party planner Gail Johnson in Atlanta. So don't include information about it in your invitation. Not only might this imply that you're hosting the gathering, but it may make your guests feel obligated to attend.
For many of Johnson's clients, the post-fete celebrations are a bit of an afterthought. As the reception draws to a close, they (and their wedding attendants) verbally recruit the livelier guests to continue the revelry, saying, "We're going to a club after the wedding." The informality of this last-minute notification gets the message to those who might want to join and allows those who aren't interested to decline politely without much guilt. As for who's paying for what, Johnson says most of the guests who accept your invitation will expect to buy their own drinks or pay their own cover charge, but if the question comes up, it's best to be direct about it.
You can certainly alert people to your plans before the wedding, of course; simply mention your intentions to anyone you think might be interested in attending the postnuptial festivities however you'd like — by e-mail, by phone or in person — and word will always spread.
